Wow, sorry, i didn’t think my phone was unable to do the last two posts. Well then; looks like a lot has happened in the past few days I guess. I realized that my father has given up on trying to get me to do school work, my mother is clueless about my school and all i’m doing is straying away from work. I just want to make everyone happy and be happy as well. Why does life do this to me? Like come on, I’m only eighteen (yes, that’s my real age). I always want to end my life because I feel as if it’s the easiest way out.
Oh, so, I think the my “friend” likes my best friend…(told you some don’t deserve that title). He keeps bringing her up in front of me saying how he sees different things about her; He says her eyes have a story in them, he says they talk about crazy things and I’m thinking ” I’ve known this bitch for nine straight years and this kid’s trying to describe her for me?” Now I just can’t shut him off cause that’s one of life’s tests. I hate being mean to people, even joking around is like a bad deed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t stop, like I’m a kid, live a little.
Natasha’s a big improvement…. not. I still can’t keep my mind off her, I still keep glancing at her in class and I still compare her to “you know who” (lol.. for some reason I liked that). Monday was the worst, she didn’t bring her calculator so she sat next to me and while sharing she kept bumping her fingers against me. I just wanted to hold her hand and when she goes ” WTF”, I can calmly respond “Bitch, let me live for a while”. Now see if that actually happened, it wouldn’t be a movie finish, it would end with her dropping that class. But nonetheless tomorrow, I might actually try to ask her out.
My music and soccer have come to a recent halt because i’m trying to get my life together a little. Smoking weed everyday when I wake up; before the bus; before class; after class; and before entering my house has become too much of a fixed schedule. Like I wanna slow down on the smoking but it’s the only thing that relieves me at the current time.
Oh and by the way, I got emails from like 15 kids saying they have their own Natasha and asking what my plans are onto wooing her because they need tips as well. Fuck that, grow a pair and ask, face the rejection.
Back to my blog, I was going to talk about time. Have you ever had a time in you’re life where you are lost and don’t have anything to do to make you happy. Like you’re in a position where you need to be happy because your loved ones tried so hard to make you happy and you smile but all you need is to just be alone? Well, I have a suggestion; go to a vision quest. Go to where you are at peace or comfortable most, mine is this little patch in the woods, and just sit there for hours thinking. If you have ADHD like me try smoking a little to calm yourself down. My lack of concentration gets better and I discover many things about myself. Try walking, cause most kids I know don’t like adding that little adventure in life. WEll this is all I can say today. i’ll post my first picture tomorrow.