On the Pill


Hello there, so yeah, i’m sorry i couldn’t keep the promise of making multiple posts, or even a post a day, i figured that i should let things happen, then after a day, i should talk about it. So yesterday was Sunday right? I don’t remember, I think it’s my meds. I finally started taking them again, after a couple of months. Yesterday was pretty all right, put out an ultimatum, decided on what i’m doing with my love life, decided what i’m doing for the next few weeks and finally… here’s the best part…. I finally started writing part 3 of “The red and also orange letter”. I hope everyone enjoys reading it, and hope more people start reading this blog, i’m psyched more and more people check in, tell your friends.

Lets begin, why don’t we. So, remember the post about my friend losing my Ipod. Well here’s the whole story. My father finally bought me a new Ipod over the summer since my old one was cracked and i never used it. Then one of my close “friends” asked to borrow it, and me, since i don’t say no, said yes. Then a couple of weeks ago i stopped seeing it with him and figured it was at his house. When i finally asked for it, now i asked for it because he got a new phone and he was able to play muic from that, he kept stalling. Then last week he tells me his mother accidentally donated it to a shelter and she never checked his clothes for the Ipod. I never called him out on it. I knew he lost it, or broke it. So i was waiting for him to confess up or try to think of a plan to help me get a new Ipod. This kid trys to ignore the subject and tells me, he doesn’t know if his mother is going to be able to come up with the money. After that one of my friends told me that i should also think if he just wants to keep it or sold it. And so i set out an ultimatum, either give me an ipod by friday, or we can’t be friends. cause that’s exactly what my dad keeps telling me “I want the Ipod back in your possession, if he doesn’t give it back, don’t be his friend anymore”

The love life part, man i don’t know what to do. I love my best friend but i know she has a boyfriend so i don’t want to interfere. Like she tells me all these things about how I’m her bestest of friends, she can only be her around me, and etc but yet, nothing. I just don’t know what to do with her, i just want 5 minutes to tell her how much she means to me, how much i love her, but i know for a fact that i won’t be able to because she’ll never have time for me. So now, I’ve been trying to get her out of my heart but i just can’t. and it pisses me the fuck off. Like why does my heart have to be the one that’s played with. I never wanted a heart, so i’m just going to give up on my love life, FUck love. I want it but can’t get it, isn’t that the best!!!!!

So with me giving up on love, i’ve decided to just play soccer, give up on music, live life like a normal person. saying that, that’s why i’ve been taking my meds; so that I can finally learn to live life like all other sad, lonely, angry person. cause nobody likes me, and the people that do, just like me for the accompany i give. So i’ll make posts off the pill, but the rest of the time, i’ll be ….. normal.

So yeah, now this doesn’t mean stop reading this blog cause after a while i’ll get bored of being normal and be like the old me again. And trust me, i’ll have like a zillion things to say because i like doing run on sentences so that i don’t have to hold onto shift to put in some of those special signs but even then i love using them and i don’t know what this paragraph is about so i’ll stop here.

See i can be good if i try, even though that last para had nothing to do with that.

confused

 

AW

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