so the past few months I’ve been very busy, got a new job, got my car driving around and trying to figure out why i can’t get things to go my way. recap on what happened. Remember that best friend I was talking about, the one that i for some reason can’t stop thinking about. Well. i think the only way to stop is by ending our friendship. now it’s not my fault you see. She just doesn’t understand that I’m the only one that has been there for her but i don’t care anymore. we had a conversation the other day and I ended it right there. i told her that I loved her and that if she keeps choosing others and other and others before me. then i might as well end it. i would’ve never said that but she is now going out with a friend of mine and I told her how i felt. I told her that he knows i love you, you know i love you but you both just have to mess with me. long story short i asked what she would do and she said ” Well I’m not just gonna end it because you finally want me. you’re just in my way right now.” and my little monologue consisted of “I’ve been there for you for a lifetime. and i’ll be there for you for the next one and the one after, and the way you’re treating me is like a dog. we might as well just end it right here” ” and without a word she nodded. i told her thanks. not for the ending of one of the best friendships in the world but by proving that you do lose two close friends when you wall in love. her reply was that she only lost one. my last words to her were “The funny thing is you’re not in love”
It’s been a rough patch. the only girl i ever truly cared about is potentially lost, but for some reason i don’t feel better. The girl that i would talk every day with no matter what mood i was in, was gone because i became selfish. speaking of that, selfishness is a serious disease. you may not see it cause you’re blind but it’s right in front of you. I try to be selfless but i want things for myself. all i know is she thinks he’s right but i know she’s been taking lefts for a very very long time.
The long… very long awaited sequel to the scarlet letter will soon come out and i gust dedicate myself to this blog. The things that happen in life suck, no matter how much it sucks. you just can’t wait around for it to get better. if you don’t try to do something to change it, it’s just going ot go downhill. i’m not happy that i’m losing close friends but what i do know is that if she really cared for me, she’d call me right now but she won’t. cause I know how she is. and it’s okay. when she cares about me and truly realises that i’m the only one for her then i’ll kindly respond with whatever i have to say. I know for a fact it’s not happening anytime soon so i’m juist going to do what i want now. i want to see how it feels o be selfish.
In other news,hope you all are excited for the return of Anon Wiz and have a fun summer, i’ll try to make a post every monday wednesday and friday to recap you on my awesome but complicated life and hopefully i’ll try to give in on some clues to who i am. but for now, just live life, laugh and love and don’t hope. believe. it’s the only thing that separates us from the less unawesomnate.
Best in the world